I grew up as an only child in Germany, my parents divorced when I was 6. I knew from an early age I wanted to have a family and more than one child as I remember being lonely as a child. I had loads of friends, but at night when the friends had gone home, I recall feeling very alone. I always wished for a little brother ... but he never came.

My wife and I were together for several years before we got married. We had not planned on having children too early into our marriage, so when I found out my wife was expecting just 2 months after being married it did come as a shock. It is hard to say what exactly was going through my mind. I guess it was a combination of fear, shock ... then a bit more fear ... because happiness seemingly came later.
My wife generally had a problem free pregnancy and as we work together, I was able to watch her develop throughout the pregnancy. My wife had decided to go through the public hospital system, using a midwife in the local birth centre. I was happy with anything she decided as long as she was comfortable with it.

I hope they are happy, I hope they find love.

The Birth

My wife went into labor on a Thursday and our son, Maximilian, was finally born on Saturday by emergency C-section. It was such a scary time, my wife was so tired and went into shock shortly before the operation. It went by in a blur and soon I was holding my very pink and puffy son! My wife had to stay in hospital for a week, I was home alone, waiting for them to come home. I think it was the last time I slept through the night.

Being a Dad

At first, there was not so much for me to do. I felt a little left out, my wife was on top of it and then my mum came over from Germany and pushed me out even further. Thankfully, I did find a special time to be with my son. At 5.30am, they were showing the champions league soccer on television, I would take Max downstairs for his morning feed and then we would just hang out. We developed a bond during those early mornings.

Being a Dad... again

When my wife and I found out we were expecting our second child, it was a mixture of happiness and fear again. We had just got Max into a great routine and then we would be back to night feeds, late nights, early mornings - sleep deprivation. My wife was advised to have a c-section again, due to complications from the first birth, so we were prepared and even knew the date and time our baby would be born. Our second baby was also a boy, so we had things ready for him to arrive.

June 9.02am

We welcomed our second healthy baby boy into the world! I was there for the birth and was able to hold him while my wife was recovering. I really enjoyed this time, baby cuddled into me, underneath my shirt and we really bonded from the start.
As our 2nd child was born overseas, there was a language barrier for my wife, so I think she spent the first days being stressed about things and not enjoying the baby. It was hard for her, she needed to ask questions and sometimes people didn't understand her, so it made things a little tense. She also had gestational diabetes during the last trimester of her pregnancy, so perhaps chocolate deprivation added to her stresses.

Welcoming baby home

For a long time Max had enjoyed a free run of the house, he was the king of the castle and the apple of all the families eye! When Max was introduced to the baby, Max took to him straight away. We thought it would be an extreme, either hate or love. But Max wanted to kiss, touch and comfort the baby all the time. It took us a long while to come up with a name for our second baby.  Just as we returned home, my step sister suggested "Noah" as it means “Peace and tranquility” and as we were yet to hear our baby cry -  it seemed to suit him. So Max affectionately dubbed Noah - “nono” and he has been known as nono ever since.

The boys' growing up

Max is talking up a storm and Nono is standing! Time does go so quickly. You hear everyone saying it, but then it becomes a reality when your oldest says crazy things to you like “Dad, I don't like onions” ... you laugh, but then it is sad - they are moving towards milestones and soon they will be moving away from the tickles, hugs and kisses. I want to keep them babies for as long as I can. I do enjoy them growing and developing, but it does put your own morality into focus. Being an only child, I never experienced what it would be like to have a brother or sister. I look at my boys and see how lucky they are to have each other, they are close in age and will hopefully in a few years time they will be best of friends.

The future

I look at both my sons faces and wonder what they will be when they grow up. Doctors, lawyers, artists. I hope they are happy, I hope they find love and I hope they have a wonderful relationship with their dad.